Fontroll's Own Hole

OK, going to try do this again.
Why?
Dunno.
Every once in a while I want to say something and I can't since Jon shut down Rooba's Riposte. Every once in a while I miss it.

I'm moving. Check out the new hole here. See ya around.

Ah, Welcome to 2003 here at The Hole. So much to say and such a small vocabulary to say it in. Grunt grunt.

Firstus. Happy Birthday Kader Gator! My second son, Kade Alan is 4 today! The monumental mixture of emotions chokes me up mentally. Kade is off charts for his size, he is maybe 1/2" shorter than his 5+ year old brother, although notably skinnier. He has a forceful will and hurricane temper, yet he is the most likely to want to sit on my lap and cuddle. He likes to pet my arms (I'm mildly hairy) or rub my back. He pats you when he hugs. He gives spider-monkey hugs. He's very patient with his baby brother and can be surprisingly gentle. He thinks about things before he speaks and I'm never sure what he's thinking. He is my little hazel eyed enigma. Happy Birthday Kade.

Secondonius. Yay ME! 11 days smoke free! Cold turkey baby. Now that I'm through the DTs and my mood has settled I feel way better. Well, I did anyway, until I caught this little flu, but I'm recovering now. I miss my zippo most of all. Don't ask me why. Those who know understand. Yeah it's a nasty habit and I know it, but I could still fall off at any time. But I won't.

Thirdarius. Finally got to go see Two Towers (gasp! politically incorrect naughty boy!) Wahoo! Go Treebeard! You da' beam, er, bomb! Really enjoyed it. Got a little sick of Gimli being the comic relief, really really liked what they did with Gollum. Blah blah blah, wonk wonk wonk. You've heard it all before, and probably alot better expressed. The one thing I want to note is the giggle I get from Elrond. (Hugo Weaving) Maybe I missed it when he came out as The Agent in The Matrix. Maybe I'm of the few twisted enough to have seen all three. He was also Antony "Tig" Bellarose AKA Mitzi from "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" Fairy to Elf, no big stretch. (hehehehe)

OK, we're home again. The holidays are pretty much over. We can all just chill the hell out.

I had a good weekend. We went to Chaska to see and stay with Kari. 'Twas very nice, lots of good food and laughing and stuff. A few more presents, some Oscar time, all is good. AaaaAAaand I got to see John again for the first time in 3 years. We polished the bar at Champps for 3 1/2 hours and got right back into the groove of sitting, bullshitting and laughing at our own stupid jokes. I miss that. A lot.

Now I am home, back at work to be precise, and I'm cranky. I'm also in my second day off smokes. Cold turkey. My attitude is somewhere on the other side of horseshit. I am mostly keeping from tearing peoples throats out by the old tried and true method of chewing bubblegum and ignoring them. If you read this and have been wondering why I've been ignoring you, believe me it's for your own protection. I'm quitting because it's just plain stupid. If I'm going to kill myself I'm better off doing it quick and not wheezing up the stairs. I may fall off again, that's what happened this time, but I'm going to keep trying. So pardon the ranting, the typos due to shaking hands and the massive mood swings, DT's at work. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.

Remember. Remember that Christmas is about one thing. The birth of a child whose destiny was to die painfully for us. To sacrifice himself for our salvation if we choose it. The presents represent those presents brought to him by foriegn kings that saw his star as foretold in prophesy. They brought them to him 2 years after his birth, in exile in Egypt. His parents fled because the king of his birthland (Herod) had heard about the coming of the newborn King and ordered all male children born at that time slain. This is a time of joy, but it's also a time to understand and remember. Quit bitching because Amazon.com is slow in shipping, or that times are hard or there isn't enough time to get the cookies or that security is making travel difficult. There are still Herods in the world, but there is still hope too. Remember the blood of innocents spilled. Remember the blood of heroes spilled so that we can worship as we wish without fear of persecution. Be thankful for what you have and what you can give and the love all around you. May this time bring us all Peace and Joy

Didn't mean to preach but I thought it needed to be said.

Merry Christmas.

So it's the holiday season. Yay.

I'm suffering a serious schizo thing about Christmas right now.

The good:
My kids, my wife, my family. I love 'em. Close friends. Ditto. I can't wait to see my kids opening gifts on Christmas morning. Excitement, happiness etc. My boys have eyes that will light up. They have voices to exclaim with joy and laughter. Their innocence and enthusiam warm me far beyond anything I ever thought possible. And having a wife to share that joy with is immeasurable to me. I'm sometimes still stunned by the happiness and friendship we share. I have a home of my own (so to speak, bankers not withstanding) and 3 very healthy happy kids who love me even when I'm mad at them.

Other good. Toys for tots. We have an ex-marine who handles residential equipment sales. Jim, a nice old guy. Gruff as any, but having just a ball with the TFT program, and the giving this year has been great. We're sort of the Marine Corps League unofficial clubhouse and the toys have been brought here for distribution. You would not, could not, believe the kind of return they've gotten. There are a lot of lower income families around here, and after contacting all the churches in town, human services agency, boys and girls club, these toys are going to good places. The realization that there are kids out there that will get at least something under their tree thanks to a bunch of cranky old marines is great. Yes, there really is a Santa Claus, HooRa!

More good. It's really winter here. Snow and blowing and all. Sure it's cold, snuggle more at night, woo hoo! I like wearing my big black Sorel boots and heavy coat. I have a Mad Bomber fuzzy hat that I wear when I'm out and about off work and a knit watch cap for when I am at work. I feel big, abominable snowman-ish big, and I like that. And I'm built for the weather, I like it. It's quiet at night and there is a zen peace in watching snow fall by the light of streetlights. Makes me glad to be warm and comfy.

The bad:

Times are tight, money's close. I can't get all the things I would like for the kids. I know they won't know the difference but I do and it brings me down a bit.

The other thing that bothers me is old. Twelve years old or so. I got dumped by my fiancee (at the time) and told that she thought I should move out. On Christmas Eve. Over the phone. I was 20 and as much in love as I knew how to be. I've learned alot since but I was devastated at the time. I mean empty shell with cobwebs and dust devastated. Nearly suicidal for a while. Eventually I picked up the pieces and stacked them carefully, rebooted and started up again. I've learned alot about myself and the world since then. I've found out what true love really is. I've found forgiveness even. I'm honest enough with myself to admit the bitterness is still there too, but I am almost entirely a different person than I was then. But I still have this low grade feeling of impending pain around the holiday season so pardon my not singing "Feliz Navidad". I'm trying my damndest to get into the spirit.

You may have seen this, you may not. I got a big kick out of it.

A message from the rural Midwest:

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into states such as Kansas, Iowa, Minnesota, Nebraska,Illinois, Wisconsin, Missouri and the Dakota's, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the State/s.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Escalade. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women. !

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for...bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only 10 bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for two drinks.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too, and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstates 90 & 80 goe two ways; interstates 29 & 35 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

Now, enjoy your visit and then go home...ASAP!

Can I sue the American Bar Association for destroying my faith in the Justice System?

Sue McDonalds because people (kids) are getting fat? What the hell happened to common sense in this country? What happened to responsibility for your own actions? What about the parents of these kids who were buying them "Happy Meals" 4-7 times a week? It's this kind of crap that makes me want to move to 50 acres, put up a fence, get a pack of big dogs and stock up on canned goods, garden seeds and ammo. GRRRR. I hereby appoint myself Emperor of the World, untouchable. Goober Uber Alles! You want an answer? Most of them concerning our litigation happy nation will involve the phrase "Suck it up, Bed-wetter!" Adult whining is now punishable by flogging. Bow, BOW before me! Or not. I don't really give a damn but if I have to come down there, some serious thumping WILL occur. Am I clear?

There, now you can't complain about the colors.

Wanna see some cute kids? Go here.

A TALE I WILL THEE TELL

With the impending 10th anniversary I have decided to honor previous promises and regale you with the soaring romantic tale of our wedding day. Keep your hat on.

We had been dating for approximately 8 months. Through the summer where T lived and worked at the Black Hills Playhouse and I lived with my parents and worked for an excavating company (I dig holes, durr!) We were back at school and basically living together at who ever's place where the room-mate bothered us the least. I had decided that T was THE one and had started putting a little cash down on a diamond ring in Sioux Falls. Her birthday came (November 2) and I didn't/couldn't get her much. That Saturday night (Nov 7th) I got down on one knee and showed her the receipt for the diamond I was working on paying off. I asked if she had to have the ring to get the question. She said no, she didn't need the ring, and yes to the really important part.

Monday morning T had an appointment to Student Health to get on birth control. You could get the pill really cheap through student health and it was probably a good idea. Her appointment was early in the morning, 9am or so. She woke me up at 9:30 or so by banging the bedroom door open, tears streaming down her pretty little face, she sobbed, "We've got to talk!"

(as an aside, ladies, this is NOT a nice way to wake anybody up.)

We were too late for the pill.

I sat, on a mattress on the floor of a tiny bedroom in a rented trailer house, in my tighty-whiteys, holding hands with her. She was sniffling and crying, still in her coat and shoes. Her hands were cold and her mascara was running. She was staring at my face as I worked through the options I could think of in my head. This was the girl I had just proposed too only a few days ago and now we were looking at bringing a child into this world together. There was only one answer I could think of.

"Well, I guess we go on the accelerated program."

We stopped and talked to my sister Amy and her husband, my good friend Doyce to find out what we needed for paperwork. We were committed, it was full speed ahead now. Amy, who had introduced us, nodded and took over the business end in her no nonsense fashion. She would take care of the paperwork and line up the judge.

We stopped at my best friend Skids' trailer. We woke him up. He let us into the kitchen wearing boxers and bed-head.
"What are you doing about 7pm tonight Scott?"
"mmumble umphNuthin'. Why?"
"You want to be my Best Man? Uncle Skids."
He didn't say anything, just looked at me for a minute, then turned, opened the freezer, pulled out a pint of Jack Daniels and opened it. He tipped the bottle back, bubbled it twice, screwed the cap back on and nodded.
"Yeah, OK."
Then he gave us both tremendous hugs and me a beer to toast with him. This was college, that's what you did, no matter what time of day.

T and I drove up to Sioux Falls and exchanged the money I had on a diamond for two plain gold bands. When we got back that afternoon Amy had the paperwork all lined up and we went to the courthouse to fill in the necessary blanks. With those signed we went back to our respective residences to find the best clothes we could wear. Somewhere in there I called Jon at work. He got off just before that time and came to the courthouse still in his sweater-vest and button down shirt from his shift at On-Cue. Scott dug out his suit. Doyce was the impromptu photographer. Amy the maid of honor. Scott the best man. Jon was the congregation.

We were married on a Monday evening by a Justice of the Peace in the courthouse in Vermillion, SD.

We went from there to the place we spent most of our time hanging out. The Black Orchid tattoo studio. We were members of the usual gang of suspects. I'd helped the owner some on his house, he had worked on the large dragon on my right arm/shoulder. (nevermind that he turned out to be a scumball, let me enjoy this pleasant fairy tale as is.) We were well known there, and when we walked though the front door wearing suit and skirt, they thought the joke was tremendous. When we just stood arm in arm and held up our now decorated ring fingers the place went silent, then exploded. We had come to invite them to one of the local pubs for an informal reception to celebrate our union. The owner, who answered to the moniker Ice, had one word to say.

"Bullshit!" And he flipped the Open sign in his front window to Closed. He peeled fifty bucks out of his pocket and gave it to one of the other regulars with the directions "Champagne."

So we had our wedding reception in a tattoo studio.

Later that night we called our parents to let them know.

My folks were upset. "You mean we don't get to have a big wedding party?"

That was ten years ago this coming saturday. We have three kids now, but the oldest one is only five. In early December T miscarried. All things considered it may have been for the best but we both still mourn. It brought us closer together, and we've been through alot since. I can't fathom life without her now and things are still good. A very special thanks to all those who helped and were a part of that day. It makes for a damn good yarn and an exceptionally fine marriage. And it's all true. Maybe someday I'll tell you how we met. See you in another ten years.

I voted. Did you vote yet? Can't bitch if you don't vote.

I was surprised by the number of libertarian candidates on todays ballot. I wonder if this marks some kind of trend, an end to the 2 party system. I'm for it I guess, but I like to upset the applecart and am really tired of the partisan buddy-buddy politics. A little random in the mix should freshen things up a bit. Maybe Governor Ventura of MN will change his mind about running for Pres in the next couple of years. I know he's a goon, but at least he has a Pair and he answers questions with a yes or no without the dodging etc. and isn't afraid to voice his opinion even if it is unpopular. Did you get to see the debates for MN governor when he got elected? There was Norm Coleman giving standard Republican bullshit sorta answers, Hubert H Humphry IXII giving standard Democrat bullshit vague answerettes and Jesse with "No", "Yes" etc. Then he'd tell you why. The other two, in rebuttal, would pretty much agree with him. I like independant candidates. Am I a political pundit? Can I support my reasons with hard facts? No. It's my opinion, so piss off if you don't like it.

A couple of things to mention. 1. Isn't it funny how you don't notice people getting older when you see them everyday. T's birthday was last Saturday but I can't help but still see her as the girl she was when we met in college. (Hubba Hubba!) I know she's just over 30 and the mother of 3 but she's still my little hotty. Happy Birthday Baby.

On the same track, next Saturday is our 10th anniversary. Isn't that something. I'm one lucky goon, and believe me, I know it.

I am also, in minor trouble at home. Don't worry, nothing bad or even guilt inducing, it's just that last night when we sat down to dine, my 3.5 year old started to sing, or perhaps chant, in the closest thing he could get to a gravelly bass voice "Life is Life..." at which point his 5 yr old brother joined in "Life is Life!". My wife froze, then looked at me with the strangest combination of accusation and mirth battling for control of her features. You see, I forgot to turn off the tape player in my truck when I took them along Sunday afternoon to Menards to get doors. They like my music, but there is something intrinsically wrong in hearing preschoolers do Laibach. We've already had troubles because they're favorite song is "Shove" by L7. And "Get out of my way or I will shove!" is not a lyric your kiddies should be screaming at Happy Tots Daycare. I can't help it though. They like my music, and you should see the 5 yr olds interpretive dance/headbanging to Metallica. It's a riot.

MMMMmmmm, Snickers fun size bars, breakfast of champion Halloween parents everywhere.

So nobody has much to say about the OmniStar cable optics equipment. I think I found a customer service email and sent off a letter but no reply as of yet. I know I have some big dollar items sitting here and they don't do me any good but I don't know what to do with them. They're pretty specialized I would guess. The only other suggestion didn't pan out much (Thanks anyway Mike, glad you like this half-assed attempt at a whatever-it-is.)

In other news, carved punkins last night. I'm going to try to steal, er, borrow the company digi-cam tonight to get a couple of shots to post. Maybe at picturetrail or somesuch. I'll probably put up some shots of the house and kids too for anybody curious.

There's a lot going on in the world, both my personal sphere and the greater one that we all occupy. It's mostly just people being, well, people. I growing less and less fond of people as time goes by, but, this is an election year so that answers alot of the nagging questions. The us-or-Dem-ocrats used Senator Wellstones memorial service for a pep-rally/free air advertising schindig. Not surprising. Politicians, rats and intestinal parasites are always opportunistic and considered yucky by most people. If just one, ONE candidate would go on the air only once an evening and tell me what his answers were, in a straightforward manner, and promise not to call me with pre-recorded messages or stuff my mailbox with junk mail, I'd probably vote for him. As it is now I'm thinking about writing in for Zippy the Pinhead. Speaking of pinheads, my father-in-law is staying with us for a couple of days until he moves back down to Omaha. That's all I've got to say about that.

HELP ME! Does anyone know anything about General Instruments OmniStar equipment? Why do I ask? Do I use laser/fiber optic equipment? NO. A trucking company that is no longer in business dropped four large boxes off with an order of registers, grilles and diffusers for a large job. There is no way for us to trace this order that I can find and I can't find anything for General Instruments. I will return these or sell them. I believe I have four very valuable boxes here with Control Modules, Shelf Modules w/fan and Power supplies. If anybody has any info drop me an email. fontroll@yahoo.com

I'm thinking about quitting the blog. I just don't feel like I have much to say of interest and the few who would be interested I'd rather talk to than exchange blog info. There's interaction missing from my life. Maybe I'm just suffering from a blue funk, who knows. But you've got to admit, scintillating this whole thing ain't.

I Like:
Trigger Happy TV and Samurai Jack
Ritz Bits S'mores
Full Figured Women
Coca Cola
Guinness
AC/DC
Reading to my kids
Halloween

I don't like:
Judging Amy or The Bachelor (pig)
Skinny chicks who think they're hot
Pepsi
Low Carb Beer
Avril Lavigne
Advice from non-parents
National whatever awareness week
political smear campaigns