Fontroll's Own Hole

I'm going to try one of these things. From "Tuesday Things"

1. What song would you say is your "theme song"?
Meanstreak - AC/DC
2. What song do you want people to play whenever you walk into a room (like a wrestler)?
I'm So Bad (Baby I Don't Care) - Motorhead
3. If you could tour with any band still active today, what band would that be?
Tenacious D, those guys are twisted.
4. Do you play an instrument? If you don't (or, even if you do) what instruments do you wish you could play?
Tuba ( or at least I did), wish I just knew how to play piano.
5. Ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Not by moonlight, mirrorball, and she ditched me about a half hour later.

I can't pin-point the moment. It was somewhen on the drive home from my sister's house. It had been a long weekend all around and everybody was napping but me. I was driving. We had been to my sister's to attend a shower for my other sister from LA. She's getting married in September. Teresa had left with my Mom and the kids thursday night. I didn't drive out until Saturday night with Dad. We had to work Friday and worked on the house Saturday until the afternoon. For me it was a whirlwind trip, out Saturday afternoon, back Sunday afternoon. Four hours or so of driving each way. And I was tired. Really tired. I hadn't slept well in the house when it was empty. Too quiet, baseless "they're not here for me to protect" anxiety, loneliness, all playing havoc on my sleep patterns. "Batch-ing it" is not as thrilling as it used to be. But now I was with my family. The kids had consumed their happy meals with excitement, have to eat everything before you get the toy! Now they had dropped off in the far back seat. The baby had noshed on french fry bits and Gerber baby goo. Everyone was out cold. Mama in the seat next to me had curled her feet up to the side and crashed. She jiggled just a bit when we hit bumps. I had to fight the urge not to aim for potholes just to watch that entrancing jiggle. Somewhere in there I started to daydream as I drove. How miserable I was without her for three days. What would I do if I lost her forever? What would she do if she lost me? How would I like to be disposed of? Buried side by side? There's still wood boxes and cold dirt seperating us. It's going to be a long time. I think I would like to have a blood sample taken, or hair or fingernail clippings, DNA anyway, and have it put in a little stainless steel cylinder. Compartmentalized with three compartments. One with my samples, one with Teresa's, and one with both. So we're together. And have the cylinder sealed tight and shot into space. I want to go on a long, eternal walk through the universe. Hand in hand, cheek to cheek, cell to cell, with my honey. The rest of my corpus? I'm not as concerned I guess, as long as in some way, we're together. I don't know exactly when I realized, again, that I love her that much, but I did.